2016 hasn't been a good year so far.
Lots of great people have died, from Professor Snape to the Goblin King, and Britain's left the EU, resulting in an increase in racism and xenophobia that's made me feel ashamed to be British.
Outside of those issues, though, it just hasn't been a great year so far for me personally either. I'm not happy, and I haven't been happy for a while. One of the things we don't prepare young people for is how difficult your 20s can be and my 20s have been pretty miserable so far; I'm living far away from pretty much all of my friends, despite trying to find work near them for the past two years, and while so many of my friends are out moving into their own apartments, advancing in careers they love and just having fun together, I feel like I'm wasting time watching my life go by while I'm stuck in this rut I didn't ask for.
I can't catch a break. No matter what I try nothing works out, and there's only so many times I can hear 'You'll get to where you want to be eventually' before I feel like tearing my hair out. I've been in a creative slump since the beginning of the year, both with the reading and writing I've been doing, and the less I write the worse I feel and the worse I feel the less I write. I feel stuck, and I think my blog has been suffering from it; I haven't been updating my blog as regularly as I'd like and even when I do manage to write something I feel like my heart isn't in it.
So I'm going to go for a little while. I may still post the odd thing if the mood takes me - I have a joint review with my lovely friend Natalie @ A Sea Change to write up for the end of the month - but right now I need to concentrate on becoming a little happier. I'm still going to read blogs because I love knowing what you guys are up to and what you've been reading, but right now I don't want to be regularly posting content if I'm not happy with it.
Sorry this has been so whiny and self-pitying, and thanks to everyone who continues to read and comment on my blog. I hope I'll be back with some new stuff sooner rather than later!
I'm really sorry that you're feeling this way, and I hope things start to get better. I had a really really low point in my early twenties after embarking on a PhD that made me miserable. I think we're told that we need to have everything figured out really young, and it leads us to feel like failures if it takes us a little bit of time.
ReplyDeleteYou're never a failure for taking time for yourself or seeking out things that make you genuinely happy.
Thanks Julia. =) I agree, I don't think anyone really prepares you for the low points in your 20s and I don't think there's enough help on offer for people when they reach those low points either.
DeleteBig love Jess <3
ReplyDeleteI hope kinder winds come your way soon.
Joe / Monstroooo
Thanks Joe. ^_^
DeleteSorry you feel this way, but totally understand sometimes you just need a break. I basically went on an unschedule hiatus last month due to work just being insane. So I get it.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that things have been rough for you :( My 20's were that great either but at the risk of sounding cheesy, it DOES get better :) Hang in there, and take as much time as you need ♥
ReplyDeleteI actually appreciate your posting about this, and I want to tell you (presumptuously, as a complete stranger) not to apologize or think of it as whining. I'm 31 and in a similar place. Debilitating student loan debt, stagnant career, struggles with anxiety and depression. I have very few friends anymore, too, for various reasons, and the ones I love most live 1200 miles away. I think the isolation makes everything else harder. It's crap, not least because there does seem to be a very particular lack of support pretty much everywhere I've looked. That's actually a major reason why I started blogging again a few months ago—just to have some kind of outlet, and maybe a way of making new friends. Anyway, just wanted to say I empathize and I hope you find a way out of the rut.
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