I'm having one of those horrible days where I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, or in which direction it's going. It's pretty damn terrifying, as I'm supposed to be graduating next year. Luckily for me I don't need to find a career right this second as I'm hoping to return to university for another year for postgraduate study; this is something I've wanted to do since first year, but I'm even starting to question that. Do I only want to do it because I don't know what job I want yet? And what if I still have no idea what to do after that year of postgraduate study is over?
I have a dream job, of course, like everyone else. I'd love to be a published author, but unlike so many other talented people out there I have yet to find the time to sit down and actually write a novel. I have several ideas, but the sensible part of me has always made me prioritise my degree and I don't regret that decision. However I realise that there is never a 'good time' to write a novel, you just have to make yourself do it. Like so many other things in life, I think I'm just being rather cowardly.
I'm not as depressed as I sound right now. I'm actually very happy; I'm loving my modules at university, I love my friends and I've found a wonderful place in the Lit Community on deviantART. It's just my future I'm worried about, and everything I still haven't done that I thought I would have done by now. I haven't fallen in love yet, I haven't visited so many places that I really want to visit yet and I haven't gotten anything published yet.
I guess 'yet' is the most important word there. I don't want to inflict a downer on anyone who happens to be reading this, so I'm going to look on the bright side of this situation. I'm not as young as I was last year, but I'm still pretty damn young. I still intend to all those things I have yet to do, and I can't wait for when they happen; I just hope at least one of them happens soon. That'd be nice.
I hope everything's going well where you are!
Toodles! J.
I'm at first year and I feel I might be in the same predicament as you when I get to the end of my degree. As the naive motivating first-year I can only tell you to go do all the things you haven't done 'yet'. Dooo it! Even if you're a pensioner. Do ittt.
ReplyDeleteNaive, motivating first years are the best kind of people. :P
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