So, without further ado, here are the very first 8 sentences from my current WIP, Bloodroot and Bracken, a Historical/Supernatural novel set in 16th century Lancaster.
~*~
The weather was wet and miserable the day they buried Jane's mother. Barely six, she held onto her father's work-roughened hand and watched the burial with a frown, a little crease in her forehead, which suited her more than a smile ever had.
A fair crowd had gathered outside St Mary's for the funeral, huddled together and quiet in the rain. Everyone loved her mother, and her father was well-liked. Though Jane would have been upset if no one had come she hated that some of their neighbours were crying. What did they have to cry about? When they went home their families would be going with them; there wouldn't be an empty space by their hearth tonight.
The coffin looked far too small to hold someone as lively as her mother, in fact Jane half expected her to appear beside her, soaking wet and smiling.
~*~
I always enjoy writing funerals, there's something so atmospheric about them, and I think you can tell a lot about a person by how they grieve. I recently edited this opening scene, but I'm still not 100% happy with it. I just have to keep working at it!
Thanks for reading! J.
You can always tell when an author enjoys writing a particular scene, and I could sense that from you here. It's a perfect capture, full of the spirit of this young one and her perceptions. I remember being at my great-grandmother's funeral when I was six, and hiding under a table being really angry that people were daring to laugh when my Grandma was dead. I love that you managed to take me back to that place through this scene.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much! :)
DeleteAwww, very touching and I think you've captured the thoughts of a small girl very well. Excellent excerpt!
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
DeleteYou did a great job with scene-setting and character building in a few lines. Nice work! Welcome to WWW.
ReplyDeleteThank you! :D
DeleteWelcome, so glad you joined us! Excellent eight. Makes me sad for the little girl, and wonder what caused her mother's death.
ReplyDeleteI'm very glad I joined! Thank you. :)
DeleteSo visual, and I liked it from Jane's POV. You've set the scene perfectly! Welcome to wewriwa! We're glad you decided to give it a try. :-)
ReplyDeleteSo am I, thank you! :)
DeleteI think this is very much from a child's point of view. Even the not understanding why people other than her are crying.
ReplyDeleteThank you. :)
DeleteThat's quite an emotional scene you've painted! Especially like the detail of how she can't understand that other people can grieve for her mother.
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
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