Reading Meme

What have you just read?

The Were-Wolf by Clemence Housman

What are you reading now?

Lauren Oliver’s Delirium and J. Sheridan Le Fanu’s Carmilla

Do you have any idea what you’ll read when you’re done with that?

Uglies by Scott Westerfeld

What’s the worst thing you were ever forced to read?

Persuasion by Jane Austen

What’s one book you always recommend to just about anyone?

The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson

Admit it, sadly the librarians at your library know you on a first name basis, don’t they?

Nope. I don’t go to the library very often because I hate having to give books back; once I start reading a book it’s mine.

Is there a book you absolutely love, but for some reason, people never think it sounds interesting, or maybe they read it and don’t like it at all?

Uh… I recommend the Skulduggery Pleasant series quite a lot and I don’t think people believe me when I say how great it is. I also really love Anne Bronte’sAgnes Grey and most people I know who’ve read it haven’t liked it at all but I think it’s a beautiful read.

Do you read books while you eat?

Sure. Usually when I’m snacking or having lunch, I won’t read if I’m sat having dinner with family or friends, and I certainly don’t read when I eat out with others because I think it’s rude.

While you bathe?

Hell no! I might get my book wet!

While you watch movies or tv?

Again it depends on whether or not I’m with company. If I’m on my own and I have to read something for uni I’ll put a tv programme or movie on that I know well for a bit of background noise while I read, but I don’t read when I’m watching something with someone else.

While you’re on the computer?

If I’m doing work, yes, or if I’m reading something online.

When you were little did other children tease you about your reading habits?

Nope. Or if they did I didn’t notice. -shrug-

What’s the last thing you stayed up half the night reading because it was so good you couldn’t put it down?

Dark Fire by C. J. Sansom

Have any books made you cry?

Yep! Malorie Blackman’s Noughts and Crosses and Markus Zusak’s The Book Thief are the first that spring to mind.

I’d like to recommend…

Mary Brown’s The Unlikely Ones is a wonderful read for those of you out there who adore really traditional fantasy like me. What’s wonderful about this story is that the fate of the world isn’t at risk. Now don’t get me wrong those stories are wonderful, but Brown manages to make you invest in a story where really it’s only the characters’ own happiness which is at stake.

So if you love witches, spells, talking animals, knights, fair maidens, dragons and quests this is most certainly the book for you.

Self-Esteem

This has been brewing for a while but I figured it's about time I wrote my thoughts out in front of me in the hope that I'll stop acting like a moron. Just as a warning this is going to be something of a ranty post, but if it makes you feel any better I'm ranting at me, not you.
     So one of the things I notice on a very regular basis is that I bring misery upon myself. Not on purpose, at least I don't think I do. Nobody wants to be miserable, I know I certainly don't, but somehow I still manage to make it happen. 
     I consider myself an optimist, when something goes wrong I say to myself: 'well at least [insert horrible incident here] hasn't happened' or something along those lines. I love to laugh, I love to smile, I have a wonderful family, amazing friends and I'm studying at one of the best universities in the UK. My love life, on the other hand, is non-existant. Yep. That's right. Just before Valentine's Day I'm writing a blog post about my lack of a boyfriend because I'm just that original.
     The reason I mention this now is because it occurred to me how ridiculous my situation is a couple of weeks ago while I was sat with a couple of my friends; they weren't close friends, but they were friends all the same. One of my friends and I were talking about a couple of guys across the room and I happened to mention how I thought one of them was pretty good looking and both my friends urged me to go and talk to him. 
     My response? Well obviously my response was to shrink back inside myself, nervously laugh and say: 'Psht. Don't be silly.' But I realised in that moment how simple it would have been, how so bloody simple it would have been, to just start talking to that guy, after all I talk to new people all the time, but immediately all I could think was: 'He'd just laugh. Why would he want to talk to you anyway? Yeah he's good looking but you look like a foot.' Just the same kind of inner monologue I have going on whenever I see anyone I find remotely attractive.
     The worst thing is I don't feel like I can really talk to anyone about it because I'm not a shy person. I love talking to new people and I love to crack jokes, I'll happily talk to pretty much anyone, but as soon as the idea of romance comes into the equation I become the most self-conscious person ever. My self-esteem when it comes to this kind of thing is cripplingly low and I hate that it is. I'm so sick and tired of letting this stupid little voice in my head tell me I'm hideous but I don't know how to get out of it. I try all the time to make me feel better about myself, but you can guarantee that on that one day I actually leave the house feeling great something will happen, or someone will say something that just reaffirms everything that little voice in my head thinks, and I just want to crawl back into bed.
     The weirdest thing is I don't think I even know why I'm like this. Whenever I do start growing close to someone I'll push them away and I don't know why; I love romance and I love the idea of love, but I'm also terrified of it. My appearance and my self-esteem are things I have been struggling with for years and I still struggle with now, so I just want you to know - yes you - that you're awesome. Just the way you are. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise and, perhaps more importantly, don't let yourself feel that way either.
     I'm going to keep trying to feel less shitty about myself until I feel brilliant, because I refuse to let this ridiculous self-esteem get the better of me and I hope, if you find yourself struggling like this, that you keep trying too.
     I hope everything's great where you are!
     Toodles! J.